Slice of Life: Should Be

At this time of night I shouldn’t be anything. But sleeping.

Instead I circle around in to the too tired to do any of it and the too tired to admit it place of should be . . .

Should be tidying. Should be planning. Should be list making. Should be tackling a pile.

Children should be counted – two of them in beds, devices captured in the land of our room, lights off. A nightly dance that should be easier. Because it sounds almost the same every night.

I should be able to admit that no, I don’t have 5 minutes of energy left to do anything. Not the emails. Not the laundry stack. Not the swooping through the house turning off lights someone else turned on.

Not this very blog I shouldn’t be writing.

Teeth should be brushed. Book should be found. Small lights on. Bright lights off. Settling should be happening.

I am like a persistent toddler. A stubborn teenager. A lonely puppy. Resisting sleep for no good reason.

I should know better. I am old and sort of wise. But in this overtired state in my over busy world, I am beyond reason and beyond action. Feebly, I protest my inability to be on top of it all by sitting ridiculously unproductive in the middle of it, when really, I should call it. Done for the day.

Should be sleeping. Should know better.

Should be.

Slice of Life

I am excited to finally join in the wonderful community hosted by Two Writing Teachers. Read more slices here.

52 thoughts on “Slice of Life: Should Be

  1. Welcome to the Slice of Life Community!!! This is a great place to be and I’m so glad you’re here! This post of “should be”s is powerful! I love this line, “I am like a persistent toddler. A stubborn teenager. A lonely puppy. Resisting sleep for no good reason.” YES! I’m glad you showed up today and didn’t listen to the “shoulds”!!

  2. You should write when you are tired more often! I love the rhythm of the piece – it had a pace, I could feel you moving without direction and the pull you were feeling between should and shouldn’t. Sleep is important – but sometimes we need to just get those last few things done and we can sleep. Hope you awake well rested!
    Clare and Tammy

  3. I could feel the tired struggle in your words! “Adulting” is a precarious balance between self-care and taking care of the business at hand. Hope your sleep was deep and restful after this post was done!

  4. Welcome my dear friend! This is a special landing place for sure. I’m glad you are here. Man do I know about should bes. It’s called being a teacher and a mother and a wife and a, and a, and a. We need to prioritize and lately as I get older I am realizing that sleep needs to be my priority and I have a love hate relationship with that concept. xo

  5. Wow, I can completely relate! But I am so glad you took a few minutes to slice. There is a wonderful rhythm to your words. I wonder if they would have been different if you were completely awake and rested….Hmmmm. (I think this works for you!)

  6. So human. The should be, the tired yet still awake – I am sure many can relate. I can. I am so glad you wrote. I love hearing/ reading your voice.

  7. Welcome, Carrie to slicing, and I love hearing that different side of you, that sleepy side I think. Love the “should be” mantra. Even retired it still keeps me up some nights.

  8. Welcome to SOL. I am so used for reading your posts about books; it will be nice to read your slices too. And I can so relate to your first one…as I am sure many us can. I was just listening to something on the radio this morning about emptying our laps of our distractions, to-do lists, and commitments in order for our children to climb up. Even though my kids are too big for my lap, I think this is something we can all listen to.

  9. Thanks for sharing this rhythmic rumination. I read a tweet a week ago where the writer recast the idea of balance from striving to do it all in work and play to being comfortable with the impossibility of doing it all. Your writing reminding me of that, too.

  10. I’ve been a fan of your posts for so long that I was shocked to read that it’s your first time to slice! Welcome, my friend. Loved the pace you made us feel w/ this post from the land of beyond reason and beyond action.

  11. Welcome! Your slice was right on – full of rhythm and possibilities. Glad you decided to ignore the “should be’s” and write! Hope you will the the March SOL challenge – I’d like to read more.

  12. Should be… writing! Yes, yes, yes! Welcome to our community of Slicers. You’re going to love it here. Sometimes even though we should be doing other things, writing brings us just the peace we need.

  13. You were doing exactly what you should have been–writing this slice! So glad to see you slicing! While I do love Top Ten lists on Tuesdays, I feel like I’m growing and reaching as a writer, teacher, thinker, person when I’m slicing instead.

    • It is so strange that I blog so frequently but never, ever consider myself to be a writer. Trying to shift that and figured that participating in these Slice of Life posts might help. Little brave steps.

  14. Glad you’re here, even if you “shouldn’t” be! (I have always been a night writer too, although having a baby has rather broken me of that habit!) I find that a notepad by the bed, so I can get those insistent ideas down without completely giving in to polishing them, helps me dump out the thoughts so I can go back to sleep without worrying that the inspiration will be gone when I wake up!

  15. Carrie, I read your blog posts all the time, and I always learn something new! This post resonated with me…there’s always more we “should” be doing, but if we dwell on the “shoulds,” we’ll miss out on the living!

  16. Carrie! Welcome to this amazing Slice of Life Community — and this? For your first slice? Yeah, amazingly accurate of my life too! Should be … just perfect in every way. This makes my heart happy to read more from you … and I’m sure you’ll sprinkle in a little book love and titles too! I can’t wait.

  17. After all the Mommy stuff is done (and it Never is!), the one thing you should continue doing (when you have the time and energy) is to keep writing. We’ll all be waiting for more words from you. Welcome!

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